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You know you're an extreme redneck if

... you let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

... you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

... you wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

... someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

... you think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

... your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

... your junior prom offered day care.

... you think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "play ball."

... you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

... the Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

... you have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

... one of your kids was born on a pool table.

... you can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

... you think 'loading the dishwasher' means getting your wife drunk.