Texts - Text 187

and what it really means (R ... Rejection, E ... Explanation):

R: I think of you as a brother ...
E: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance."

R: There's a slight difference in our ages ...
E: I don't want to do my dad.

R: I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way ...
E: You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.

R: My life is too complicated right now ...
E: I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.

R: I've got a boyfriend ...
E: I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.

R: I don't date men where I work ...
E: I wouldn't date you if you were in the same "solar system", much less the same building.

R: It's not you, it's me ...
E: It's you.

R: I'm concentrating on my career ...
E: Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.

R: I'm celibate ...
E: I've sworn off only the men like you.

R: Let's be friends ...
E: I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.