Texts - "Men are like ..."

Laxatives

They irritate the shit out of you.

Bananas

The older they get, the less firm they are.

Vacations

They never seem to be long enough.

Weather

Nothing can be done to change them.

Blenders

You think you need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Chocolate Bars

Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

Coffee

The best ones are rich, warm, & can keep you up all night.

Commercials

You can't believe a word they say.

Department Stores

Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Government Bonds

They take so long to mature.

Mascara

They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Popcorn

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Snowstorms

You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Lava Lamps

Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Parking Spots

All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.