Texts - "Definitions"
Architect Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer. Banker Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and takes it back when it starts to rain. Boy Scout A child dressed like an asshole under the leadership of an asshole dressed like a child. Consultant Someone who uses your wife’s watch, tells you the time, and then charges you for it. Diplomat Someone who tells you to go to hell in a way which makes you eager to start the journey. Economist An expert who will know tomorrow why that which he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. Friend Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that "Je ne sais quoi" which eliminates any desire to ever try and sleep with them. Pessimist Optimist with experience Programmer Someone who fixes a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand. Psychologist Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters the room. Statistician Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an engineer. Dancing The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire. Headache Method of contraception most widely used by women. Intellectual Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about something other than sex. Monogamy Repressed polygamy. Nymphomaniac Term applied by men to any woman who wants sex more than he does. Teamwork The possibility of putting the blame on others. Interview That which can be seen between the interviewee’s legs. Easy Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man. Hardware The part of the computer which you kick when the software malfunctions. Impatience Waiting in a hurry. Indifference Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has no interest; interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get".
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